Deny, Deny, Deny!

There’s a saying in intelligence communities - “admit nothing, deny everything, make counter accusations.” This phrase reminds me of something Jesus said in Matthew. “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24, NKJV). But what does it mean to deny oneself? I pondered this concept of denial. When we think of someone denying something, we typically associate it with intentional refusal to acknowledge, recognize, or admit something. We say things like, “He’s in denial” or “She denies any knowledge of the event” and so on. In essence, denial is a deliberate refusal. Now, in some cases, one might deny something known to be true in order to evade consequences. Consider one of many crime dramas where a suspect is being interrogated and denies knowledge of an alleged crime to avoid prosecution even though it might be true. Such a denial is a lie. 

So, what did Jesus mean when He said, “deny himself?” Surely, He didn’t mean we should lie to ourselves  or be dishonest in some way. Denying what is known to be true is a lie. How, then, do we deny ourselves? Perhaps what Jesus meant was that in order to follow Him, we must choose between what we want and what He wants. Money and time are two of the greatest resources we rely upon and spend. If we take the former and decide we are going to deny ourselves, the implication is that we won’t spend money on the things we want. As 2025 draws to a close tomorrow evening, many will make resolutions, some of which might include budgeting. Saving versus consuming might be on the agenda, or eliminating wasteful spending on things like daily coffee and eating out. To achieve such a goal requires discipline, which is an inherent component of denying oneself. In this case, denial involves deciding how to manage one’s finances based on a predetermined goal. That goal might be part of a larger plan such as achieving financial freedom and security. 

What about time? We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day. How we spend them is up to us. As I considered this, I thought about my life as well as the lives of the disciples. Before they chose to follow Jesus, they spent their time as they pleased. However, once they decided to follow Him, they spent their time differently. They gave up everything they had and traveled with Him. Their time was now devoted to Him and His ministry. He sent them out to preach and witness. Thus, they used their time for Him, not themselves. Simply put, they denied themselves in that they submitted themselves to His will. They did as He commanded and instructed. They followed His example. We often don’t think that Jesus denied Himself because He did His Father’s will. The reality, though, is that Jesus was obedient even unto death, something he prayed could be taken from Him - if God willed it! He remained dedicated to His Father. As such, He denied Himself. That is, He put His Father’s will ahead of His. Yes, arguably, their wills were the same. However, Jesus was fully human lest we forget. He experienced hunger, fatigue, and emotions like the rest of us. 

Denying oneself is nothing more than putting God’s will first in our lives. Easier said than done, right? Society has always shaped the human equation and collective thinking. Take our modern society for example. In my lifetime, the script as I call it has changed little. Grow up, graduate from high school, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, start a family, retire, and die. What was true growing up in the 70s is still relatively true today, although after decades of inflation is not as easily achievable as it once was. Where does denial fit into all of that? I sometimes wish I could go back to my youth armed with the knowledge I have now so I could have been a missionary or pastor or served others in some way. Instead, I unknowingly followed the script. The only problem with that script is that it often involves denying Jesus to a certain extent. Oh, that’s not to say denying Christianity or faith. No, that’s not the case. What I mean is that once we become encumbered with the burdens of the world and immerse ourselves in it, denying ourselves becomes less of a priority. 

Without realizing it, we tend to focus on our own lives - careers, relationships, establishing ourselves. We follow the script, as it were. We establish IRAs, retirement accounts, and plan vacations all while accumulating more possessions that occupy more of our time - the most precious of resources. Blinded by the folly of the world, we relegate Jesus and faith to assigned spaces on our calendars. Church on Sunday, Bible Study during the week, and maybe a devotional or two during the week, if we’re lucky. We’re quick to tell others we’ll keep them in our prayers - when we actually take the time to pray, which for many is at the end of the day, after our daily video binging and mindless scrolling. But we’re quick to proclaim our faith, aren’t we? 

Many years ago, I got into fasting. Along with plant-based eating, fasting is a great way to maintain health and reset one’s body. It’s also a great way to build discipline. You see, fasting is essentially denying yourself food when you want it. A quote put it aptly: “don’t trade what you want for what you want right now.” Well, that’s what denial is all about, my friends. Jesus admonished us to deny ourselves - to focus on what He wants for our lives, not what we want for our lives. Yes, I know, we’re all very quick to acknowledge His will. “Lord willing” and “if it’s God’s will” are quick to flow out our mouths. But do we really understand what that means? Jesus understood it all too well. He knew His Father’s will even though He prayed, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42, NKJV).

Do we do that? Do we readily deny ourselves like that? Imagine what that must have been like for Jesus. Think about it. Without a doubt Jesus knew His life and ministry would end on the cross. Since the Garden of Eden the path was established. There were no alternatives. Jesus knew this. Yet, in His humanity, He beseeched His Father. But at the same time, in the same sentence, He denied Himself. He put His Father’s will first because that’s what it means to deny oneself. Putting God’s will first is what we are called to do. Yes, yes, I know, we all want to believe we’re doing that every day. After all, we’re here, just waiting for God to reveal His will to us, because that’s how it works, right? We go about our lives day by day until God reveals something. And then we say, “God works in mysterious ways.” But is that what we’re supposed to do? Just sit back and wait? Are we supposed to be reactive? 

The cross wasn’t a surprise for Jesus, which is why He prayed, “If it is Your will, take this cup away from Me.” He knew it was His Father’s will because He actively sought it. If we actively seek God’s will, inevitably we will deny ourselves because we will have to choose. We will have to choose how to spend our money and time. Should we consume more? Order online on a regular basis and accumulate more possessions? Take vacations? Buy bigger houses, new cars? Or should we deny ourselves? Donate clothes to the needy without purchasing more? Spend our time volunteering? Give our money to the church and not retailers? Maybe we should begin the New Year by cancelling our online streaming platforms? Read our Bibles instead of checking our phones? Pray every time the urge to scroll hits us? Imagine what a prayer life we could have!

Such a radical change in behavior requires discipline and intentionality. It requires a major shift in focus from our will to God’s will. The only way to focus on God’s will is to seek it daily. And that can only be done by denying ourselves!